i welcome aria in my life with welcome arms, as much as i know that her presence will always be my downfall. the fact stands that there will always be something wrong with me - i’m never going to just be an normal girl and i’m never going to be one of those happy girls that everyone loves either. no matter how many fake pretences i put up or how much i dive myself into my work, force laughters and smiles, someone will always make it through that mask and discover what a mess aria has made me.
i can’t blame anyone in this life for what aria has done to me.
and aria will never leave me, that’s the thing.
it doesn’t matter how many insensitive people tell me that nobody likes the baby who’s always crying, or that i have no reason to keep allowing aria into my life. none of that matters because it isn’t by choice.
it’s not by choice that i’ve let aria kick me down time and time again. it’s not by choice that i’ve let aria cut into my wrists and it’s not by choice that i let her back into my heart time and time again.
none of this is my choice.